Celebrate Moms

Hooray for Sandra Bullock.

Her moving performance in 'The Blind Side' as a mom who welcomes a homeless teen into her family, won the Oscar for best actress.  Her acceptance speech, dedicated to 'moms that take care of the babies and the children no matter where they come from,' won our hearts.

The movie's storyline was especially touching to me.  My husband, a native of New York City, faithfully purchases The New York Times every Sunday.  On one such Sunday in 2006, I happened to take notice of their magazine supplement.  It pictured a young man who had gone from anonymity to the number one offensive lineman college recruit almost overnight.  Because our son Justin was a college offensive lineman, and the same age as the boy in the story, I was eager to read more about this young man in hopes his story might offer my son some tips.

But what I read about was so much greater than improving football strategy.  Michael Oher, the gentle giant who was the focus of the article, had overcome more than opponents' defensive lines.  His resolve to protect his quarterback's blind side was strengthened more in the arena of life than it ever was in the weight room.   His amazing story of going from homeless and family-less to the #1 college recruit at his position -- and eventually to the NFL -- had a Hollywood ending in large part, because a mom, and her entire family, took a step of faith to make a difference in his life.  Leigh Anne Toughy, the mom Sandra Bullock so powerfully portrayed, knew she had the means to do something to help this young man in need and make a difference in his life.  More importantly, she acted on it.  She and her family adopted Mike and together they encouraged, supported, and nurtured him to become the young man whose life story I was now reading about. 

The article immediately resonated with me.  Our family shared a similar experience when our youngest son Antoine, now 19, became part of our family at age 12.  When I learned Michael Oher's story had been made into a movie, I asked my son for a date so we could watch the movie together.  I cried the whole way through.  There were so many similarities; so many ways I saw our own family's story being played out on that screen; so many prayers being prayed as I sat in that theater asking God to let Hollywood speak to my son so that he would understand our rules, our standards and our love for him were there to protect his 'blind side' -- all those difficult life experiences that kids don't see coming but parents know can all too easily knock them down or forever alter this game we call life. 

One of my favorite scenes was when Bullock prepared a Thanksgiving feast for her family and they proceeded to each pile their plates full of food, then plop themselves down in front of the television to watch turkey-day football.  

At this point my son leans over to me to say, "See?  That mom doesn't make them turn off the tv and eat at the table."  (A reference to our house rules at dinner time: no tv, we eat together at the table, and we hold hands and say prayer before the first bite is taken.)

Then, as if on my perfect cue, Bullock looks at her family in the living room, then back at Michael who is eating his first Thanksgiving meal at the table all by himself.  She knows what she has to do -- and promptly picks up the remote and turns off the tv.  The next scene has the whole family at the dining room table.  She then leads a thanksgiving prayer.....making them all hold hands. 

Aaahh....sweet vindication.  (Followed by a gentle elbow nudge, glaring stare and smirk to my son.)

Wouldn't it be wonderful if real life was always as beautiful and as easy and had a storybook ending like it does in the movies?  The real 'moms [and dads] that take care of the babies and the children no matter where they come from' know parenting takes hard work, commitment, and sometimes all the strength one can muster in a day.  And admittedly, on some days, our mistakes leave us feeling more like the monster mother portrayed by the best-supporting actress winner MoNique than the courageous and determined mother portrayed by Bullock.  (But I'm betting that the real Leigh Anne Toughy had days like those too.) 

Congratulations Sandra Bullock for an award well-deserved.  Your portrayal of a mother who loves her son, regardless of how - or at what age - he came to her, is a win for every mother out there who does the same.

God continues to direct the unfinished scripts of our children -- and I'm so thankful that he does.  Perhaps one day they'll also make it to the pros in their chosen field or have their life stories made into Oscar worthy films.  Or maybe, they'll simply, and wonderfully, love their own children in a way that brings their family together at the dinner table, holding hands and giving thanks for all the blessings they have......just like their moms taught them to do. 

-- Cindy Aronson

Did you know that New York State alone has over 350 children waiting to be adopted? If you have room in your heart and your home, please consider foster parenting or adoption. Older children especially are in need of your love. Contact https://apps.ocfs.ny.gov/Adoption/Child/Search/Demographic.aspx  for more information and to see the directory of children who are waiting to be adopted.

Or become a CASA volunteer and advocate for a child in foster care.  Contact http://www.casaforchildren.org for more information