Think Like a Champion

I admit it.  I'm a cheerleader.

Those who know me know I am an avid fan of my sons' high school and college sports teams as evidenced by my zeal in creating websites, videos, books, posters, Facebook pages and online stores full of fan gear; helping with pep rallies and fundraisers and tailgates..... and loving every minute of it.  (Which is why I can't stop helping my favorite teams even after my sons have graduated.)

Now before you tell me to get a life (ok, I probably should), please remember I make my living as a motivational speaker and teacher, so come on, whadya expect?  :)  This is what I know how to do (and believe me, my family would say you wouldn't want me volunteering to cook for the team dinner.) 

I have a very strong belief that  'talent + teamwork + passion' is the recipe for exceptional success in life -- whether it's on the gridiron, in the workplace, or in our homes.  And I've taken the opportunity of using sports to teach that to my sons.  Turns out their high school, home of the Maple Grove Red Dragons, is an excellent example of how this formula works.

When I played high school sports, I remember our team goal was to win our division at the local level.  There wasn't much talk of going any farther.  After all, this wasn't the movies.  We were just a small school in a small town hoping for a division championship and some hardware for our trophy case.  If it happened we went further, great.....we were lucky.  But it certainly wasn't what we set our minds on. 

Fast forward to my sons' high school teams.  They too are a small school in a small town.  But they think differently.  They think BIG.  They have what Steven K. Scott describes in his best selling book, 'Simple Steps to Impossible Dreams' as 'Babe Ruth Power.'

Scott's theory is that most goal-setting programs we use for professional and personal goals have one severe limitation: they encourage us to set goals that are 'reasonable and achievable.'  To achieve our dreams, we must think differently -- like Babe Ruth did.  He didn't step up to the plate hoping for a walk or a single.  Instead, he pursued one goal every time he stepped up to bat: hit a homerun.  His 'shoot for the moon and not the reasonable and achievable' mindset made all the difference -- and elevated him from just another ball player to the champion baseball legend we still talk about today -- eight decades later. 

It's that kind of thinking that exists at Maple Grove.  I've seen Coach Curt Fischer encourage his players to think like champions -- and in doing so, prepare and practice and play like champions.  Going all the way to states is the goal every season.  And in my opinion, it has made all the difference.  Just look at his results: he twice led his team to football state titles and numerous division championships.  He assisted in coaching the school's team to a state title for baseball.  And this coming Friday, his boys' basketball team will make their third consecutive trip to the New York State Final Four Championships, where they hope to capture the state trophy as they did under Fischer's reign in 2008.  Impressive achievements in coaching multiple sports over a decade tells us all he has found a winning combination.

Somebody once asked me what I felt that combination was.  I'm convinced it's the Babe Ruth Power mindset combined with the 'talent + team + passion = exceptional success' formula.  Players and coaches are committed to developing their raw talent; the teams play together in the on/off season (on both structured teams and informal pick-up games in parks, driveways & back yards); their legion of fans and the support they give -- yes, even those Dragon Mom cheerleaders -- is an integral part of the team dynamic; and together, this whole team really, really loves (I call that passion) what they do and prides themselves on being the best.  So much so that they practice all hours of the day and night, alter work schedules for coaching commitments, paint their bodies black and red, cook vats of homemade sauce and meatballs for team dinners, travel hundreds of miles to cheer their team on, or spend hours creating websites and movies.

And perhaps senior leader Chris Secky explained 'Babe Ruth Power' best while reflecting on his team's recent win that put them back at the state final four: "You’ve got to come out and think nobody can stop you. It might sound cocky or a little overconfident, but if you don’t have that mindset you’re not going to do well. I came out and was like, ‘there’s nobody that’s going to stop me. There’s nobody that’s going to deny me a chance to go to Glens Falls.’  (Is there any question, that with a personal philosophy like that, Chris is arguably the best all-around athlete in school history?)

And while thinking like a champion can, and does, bring the typical rewards of excellence -- titles, rings, patches, headlines, and bigger hardware in the trophy case -- it also put dozens of Dragon alumni into college sports and academic programs, bringing them scholarships and opportunities and the confidence and determination to also live their life with the mindset to 'think like a champion.'

Indeed, the 'talent + team + passion = exceptional success' formula works beautifully outside of sports too.  

-- Cindy

Post-script: The Maple Grove Red Dragons went on to win the 2010 New York Class D Boys Basketball State Championship, defeating the state's first and second ranked teams to do so.  It is their third state basketball title in school history; their second in the past three years.  Tournament MVP Chris Secky ended his high school basketball career with 2,067 points -- the same number of points as former New York high school player and NBA legend Kareem Abdul Jabaar had in his high school career.  Congratulations to Chris, Coach Fischer, and the entire Maple Grove Red Dragons.  The way you live out the  'talent+team+passion' formula inspires us all.

Celebrate Moms

Hooray for Sandra Bullock.

Her moving performance in 'The Blind Side' as a mom who welcomes a homeless teen into her family, won the Oscar for best actress.  Her acceptance speech, dedicated to 'moms that take care of the babies and the children no matter where they come from,' won our hearts.

The movie's storyline was especially touching to me.  My husband, a native of New York City, faithfully purchases The New York Times every Sunday.  On one such Sunday in 2006, I happened to take notice of their magazine supplement.  It pictured a young man who had gone from anonymity to the number one offensive lineman college recruit almost overnight.  Because our son Justin was a college offensive lineman, and the same age as the boy in the story, I was eager to read more about this young man in hopes his story might offer my son some tips.

But what I read about was so much greater than improving football strategy.  Michael Oher, the gentle giant who was the focus of the article, had overcome more than opponents' defensive lines.  His resolve to protect his quarterback's blind side was strengthened more in the arena of life than it ever was in the weight room.   His amazing story of going from homeless and family-less to the #1 college recruit at his position -- and eventually to the NFL -- had a Hollywood ending in large part, because a mom, and her entire family, took a step of faith to make a difference in his life.  Leigh Anne Toughy, the mom Sandra Bullock so powerfully portrayed, knew she had the means to do something to help this young man in need and make a difference in his life.  More importantly, she acted on it.  She and her family adopted Mike and together they encouraged, supported, and nurtured him to become the young man whose life story I was now reading about. 

The article immediately resonated with me.  Our family shared a similar experience when our youngest son Antoine, now 19, became part of our family at age 12.  When I learned Michael Oher's story had been made into a movie, I asked my son for a date so we could watch the movie together.  I cried the whole way through.  There were so many similarities; so many ways I saw our own family's story being played out on that screen; so many prayers being prayed as I sat in that theater asking God to let Hollywood speak to my son so that he would understand our rules, our standards and our love for him were there to protect his 'blind side' -- all those difficult life experiences that kids don't see coming but parents know can all too easily knock them down or forever alter this game we call life. 

One of my favorite scenes was when Bullock prepared a Thanksgiving feast for her family and they proceeded to each pile their plates full of food, then plop themselves down in front of the television to watch turkey-day football.  

At this point my son leans over to me to say, "See?  That mom doesn't make them turn off the tv and eat at the table."  (A reference to our house rules at dinner time: no tv, we eat together at the table, and we hold hands and say prayer before the first bite is taken.)

Then, as if on my perfect cue, Bullock looks at her family in the living room, then back at Michael who is eating his first Thanksgiving meal at the table all by himself.  She knows what she has to do -- and promptly picks up the remote and turns off the tv.  The next scene has the whole family at the dining room table.  She then leads a thanksgiving prayer.....making them all hold hands. 

Aaahh....sweet vindication.  (Followed by a gentle elbow nudge, glaring stare and smirk to my son.)

Wouldn't it be wonderful if real life was always as beautiful and as easy and had a storybook ending like it does in the movies?  The real 'moms [and dads] that take care of the babies and the children no matter where they come from' know parenting takes hard work, commitment, and sometimes all the strength one can muster in a day.  And admittedly, on some days, our mistakes leave us feeling more like the monster mother portrayed by the best-supporting actress winner MoNique than the courageous and determined mother portrayed by Bullock.  (But I'm betting that the real Leigh Anne Toughy had days like those too.) 

Congratulations Sandra Bullock for an award well-deserved.  Your portrayal of a mother who loves her son, regardless of how - or at what age - he came to her, is a win for every mother out there who does the same.

God continues to direct the unfinished scripts of our children -- and I'm so thankful that he does.  Perhaps one day they'll also make it to the pros in their chosen field or have their life stories made into Oscar worthy films.  Or maybe, they'll simply, and wonderfully, love their own children in a way that brings their family together at the dinner table, holding hands and giving thanks for all the blessings they have......just like their moms taught them to do. 

-- Cindy Aronson

Did you know that New York State alone has over 350 children waiting to be adopted? If you have room in your heart and your home, please consider foster parenting or adoption. Older children especially are in need of your love. Contact https://apps.ocfs.ny.gov/Adoption/Child/Search/Demographic.aspx  for more information and to see the directory of children who are waiting to be adopted.

Or become a CASA volunteer and advocate for a child in foster care.  Contact http://www.casaforchildren.org for more information

Get Started

Oh cabin fever.  If you live in the North, it's probably long set in by now.  Frigid temps, record snowfalls, scraping, shoveling, and bundling up makes one just want to stay in the comforts of home.....until boredom sets in and you just gotta break free and get on out.

So I did.  Last week I took this 'feeling-every-bit-of-over-40' body down the ski slopes for the first time in a while, and I have to admit I said a little 'thank you God' when I made it down.  Once I got my confidence back, I began to focus on the beauty of a wintry snowfall and the joy that playing outside with friends still brings.  It just seems to get sweeter with age to brave the elements and the hillside and have a blast doing so. 

It wasn't until a bit later in life that I learned to ski.  Me ski?  You mean go down a steep, snowy hill standing up?  Are you kidding me?  At 35, I thought I was way too old to learn something so daring.  Thankfully my son, and later my friends, assured me I could -- and what a boost to the old self-esteem to conquer something you never thought you could.....or would.

Life has taught me that the best prescription for cabin fever, mid-life fever, stuck-in-a-rut fever -- or whatever else you want to call it -- is to get started on doing something new, something that's a bit of a stretch, something you may have never seen yourself being able to accomplish.  There's a beautiful boost that comes from being bold and brave and open to new possibilities -- and then going for it. 

Achievement and accomplishment is often as simple as just getting started -- so many times, that is the hardest part.  We think and worry and plan and analyze -- until it stops us in our tracks and prevents us from doing it.  Before you know it, we look back and say coulda, woulda, shoulda, meant to ........ but didn't.

After all, what if I fail?  Fugheddaboudit.  Fear of failure is one of the most crippling mindsets there is.  I've certainly learned this on my own and by observing the lives of others.  Sure, everything you try may not work out the way you dreamed it -- but oh the power and confidence and joy that comes from the attempt!  As a grown woman, I also once tried figure skating.......I so wanted to skate like Dorothy Hamill.  (After all, we did once share the same hairstyle.)  So I got started with lessons and after the fourth time falling hard on the ice, decided it wasn't meant to be for me......but oh the laughs I still get from remembering the experience!

Learning doesn't end with high school or college.  New joys and hobbies and renewal can be found in our middle-age and retirement years as easily as we found them in our teens and twenties.  Oprah Winfrey was reminded of this by Jerry Seinfeld.  Following an interview with Seinfeld some years ago, she found herself complaining to him about the end of summer and the need for some time for herself before going back to the confinement of her television schedule.  Jerry reminded her, “It’s yours to design, Oprah," -- an 'aha' moment that led to the decision to end her show.  Yes, even Oprah relies on the wisdom of friends to remind her that she alone holds the power to try something new. 

The level of joy, energy, passion, fun, or engagement we have in this life of ours is up to us.  "It's ours to design."  We just simply need to get started.

-- Cindy