Celebrate Victory

"Who knows what women can be, when they are finally free to be themselves."  Betty Friedan spoke those now famous words in her book 'The Feminine Mystique,' widely regarded as one of the most influential books of the 20th century.  It is often credited for igniting the contemporary women's movement and laying the foundation for the place women collectively find themselves today: in the power seat.

According to a recent article in The Economist, within the next few months women will cross the 50% threshold and become the majority of the American workforce.  We already make up the majority of university graduates in the world's leading developed countries and are the majority of professional workers in several of those countries, including the U.S.  And, according to multiple measures, women control 80% of the spending power in the U.S. as well.   The economic empowerment of women is one of the most remarkable revolutions of the past 50 years. 

So why aren't we celebrating?

Perhaps it's because for many women work represents a neccessity to make ends meet rather than fulfilling their aspirations to be free to be themselves.  And maybe our celebration has been dampered upon realizing the joy of victory has brought with it the agony of 'de-feet,' not to mention de-neck, de-spirit, and de-stress of everyday life. (Ok, that was really lame...sorry.)

So does this mean we've swung the pendulum too far -- from fighting for identities separate from 'housewife' and mom to claiming careers that leave us too little time for family or ourselves?  And honestly, are we as women really ever satisfied?

No and no.   I know few women (or men for that matter) who would want to step back in time, even if Mrs. Cunningham did make those 'Happy Days' look oh so perfect.  As for being satisfied, come on, we're women -- we are ALWAYS looking to improve.

Instead, the celebration lies in continuing to change and refine the work/life balance formula.   It lies in developing new solutions for this new world.  It lies in helping to balance the needs of women and men and their employers -- through creative schedules, compensation, contributions, learning and support.

The good news is 'faster change is likely as women exploit their economic power.  Many talented women are already hopping off the corporate treadmill to form companies that better meet their needs.  In the past decade the number of privately owned companies started by women in America has increased twice as fast as the number owned by men.  Women-owned companies employ more people than the largest 500 companies combined.' (The Economist)

The message is clear: companies that want to keep up with this new world economy must rethink their current strategies and structures for attracting and retaining talent to ensure they provide the work/life balance needs so many are demanding.

And that's a victory we all can celebrate -- with a fist-up, bicep-flexed "We Did It!"

(Research supports connecting with others and sharing wisdom does much to support women in balancing work/life commitments.  The C Jane meeting series is currently being developed to assist organizations, and the women on their team, do just that.   Contact us to learn more.)

See referenced article

With the Girls

Leave it to science to prove what we girls have known all along.....getting together with your girlfriends is good for your health.  Yup, it's true -- study after study shows it's as beneficial for you as exercise and eating right...but I find girlfriend gatherings so much easier to do. :)

I teach a workshop on moving from 'stressed to zest' and connecting with friends is one of the '12 habits' I recommend for doing so.  In fact, it's very close to the top of my list.

I love my husband.  I love my kids.  But when I'm with my girlfriends, I can just be me.  No role to play or lessons to teach or discipline to instill......when I'm with the girls, my spirit goes back to being 18 without a care in the world or schedule to keep.  Girlfriends are a magical remedy for all that's wrong in your world....just ask anybody who relies on them as much as I do mine.

A few years back, a handful of women and I started bi-annual girlfriend getaways.  We were two groups of friends connected by sisters who thought it would be fun to share a weekend camping trip together.  Fifteen years later, it's hard to tell who the real sisters are.  We've become one another's good for the soul sistas. :)  And I'm confident we'll be gathering for winter ski and summer camp trips for the rest of our lives -- 'cooler dancing' into the grave and smilin' the whole way.  And you better believe we'll be buying chotchkies for each other, talkin' in our top secret language that only we can decode, and emailing (now texting and Facebooking) leading up to and after our times together, like we've done so many times before.  You know how women are.....and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Keep Perspective

Sometimes it takes a tragedy to give us a dose of perspective.  The earthquake in Haiti is a reminder to us all that what we love and work so hard for, can too easily be gone in an instant.  And while few of us are faced with the magnitude of change brought on by a natural disaster such as that, we do experience our own kind of earthquakes -- those experiences that change the landscape of our lives forever.

2009 was such a time for me -- losing an adored mother, a respected mentor, a beloved pet; becoming an empty-nester and being thrust from a country house with a beautiful view into the heart of a city that is hours away from friends, family, and the comforts of home I've come to depend on.  Admittedly, there are times my life this year has felt like a bad country song (yup, I even lost my truck) when one day, I actually heard a similar country song in which a man responds to the complaints of a friend by saying 'it sounds like life to me.'  Which of course reminded me of my own dear friend who once said: "Best enjoy this life of ours -- we don't get out of it alive."  haha....fair enough....lesson learned.

Life is hard sometimes.  I have yet to meet a person who gets through it unscathed.  And so we may cry through it, scream through it, complain through it -- even hate through it -- bemoaning 'why me?' to God above.  Yup, been there too. 

But I recently saw some other words of wisdom that gave me a mighty dose of perspective:  "How lucky we are to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." 

I had over 4 decades with a mom who loved each of her six children like they were her only one; a dog who turned me from a non-animal-lover to preaching that everyone's gotta have one; four kids who welcomed me on their fantastic childhood adventures; a mentor who gave me the courage to succeed; a career I love; and a home and friends I can't wait to return to come summer.  Lucky indeed.

So "if you're worried and you can't sleep, count your blessings instead of sheep." 

Bring it on, life.  I'm smilin' through ya. :)

-- Cindy